Thursday, February 24, 2011

simply disaster!

Imagine you have parents that has facebook or something...
they will add people and simply stock on their kids and their kins
seriously...This is a total disaster
Talk to or add them on facebook is alright...
but tell them don't be a nosy stalker!

Actually....I am really sick of living in this kind of home
with families having high hopes on my sister
kins don't even want to help me....
they even commented me at the back too
no nice words on their mouths ever before!
When i saw my cousins crying or my sister is crying....
some of my kin will come and console them...
but me?They don't
They will just laugh at me.....
So i have no choice but to keep onto myself
That is why i start questioning myself
when i cry who will console me?
when I am having problems who will come and solve it?
When I needed help who will come and help me?
When I am sick who will take care of me?
my mum may be the one but that is not enough

I am also a married woman....
but sadly..my husband is not as supportive
His family?Not even supportive at all
Some even treat me like a stranger...
sigh....

I will never feel happy in my life....
want to vexed out..
but they all just don't let me vexed it out...
argh....I am suffering from a great depression seriously...
oh well hate those medicines
it will just make my memory not as good as last time

How I got my depression?
Easy....Not because of stress....I just need others to care about me
but nobody came and help me...I need serious love too...

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

things couldn't get any better

As years pass by with him...
Things get from worse to the worst...
Everyday... I need to worry him like mad...
did Buddhist chantings everyday..
just to wish him for the better and hold on to his current job
now what....
I just want to wish that he could pass his IPPT and thats it...
I just want him to train more on his runnings with me from now on...
but thing is he is not willing to...
worse thing that he still smokes...

sigh...I don't really know how to express it...
Do I still love him deep inside my heart?
In my heart seriously....
I feel so tired sometimes...
Why can't he just make me happy all the time
and I am the one that is always the planner of our date

well I don't want to reveal much about my feelings with him
as there are some nosy people around browsing...

Monday, February 14, 2011

boring year ever...

This chinese new year was deemed the most boring want ever!
Same goes to Valentines day...
sigh....So sad.....
shouldn't have spent so much $$ on clothes and bag -_-
well...I keep crying inside my heart now
sigh with the amount of $$ spent for chinese new year preparation
I could buy myself a Burberrys bowling bag =(

He is going to report sick for tomorrow
As he told me he is going to visit the clinic tomorrow
So I have no choice but to stay at home and stone once more
just led a normal life which is no life
sigh